I'm just a language learner, not polyglot or multilingual

If I say "polyglot", most likely people in Malaysia will think it's a Korean pop song, the latest K-pop hit. They'd understand "multilingual" better but I'd avoid this term too. I'd just say "I'm a language learner" or "I'm learning [name(s) of language(s)]" and leave it at that. Otherwise people will have all sorts of high-level expectations as if I'm able to function flawlessly in many languages like an expert. As if I can speak like a native with no accent, no mistakes, on any topic using all the technical terms and idiomatic expressions. Come on, even a native speaker would not be able to speak smoothly on unfamiliar topics, right?

Neither do I like using the word "fluent" because it's so loaded with subjective meanings. Many equate it to high proficiency in everything. I personally think it means being able to speak without pausing too much, that's it. So in my opinion one can be fluent at beginner, elementary, intermediate, advanced levels. But to avoid confusion and subjective definitions, I'd stick to proficiency as a measurement tool. Proficiency is what you can do. A beginner can do less, an expert can do much more.

For me, I'm comfortable claiming English, Bahasa Malaysia, Cantonese and Mandarin as languages I'd put on my CV or résumé. That's because I can maintain conversations in these languages at an intermediate to advanced level. Two of these I can read and write at a high level of proficiency.

English is my main spoken and written language. I've used it in an academic setting up to university level and lived in an English-speaking country for four and a half years. With Bahasa Malaysia I have full working proficiency, having learnt it in eleven years of national school (Sekolah Kebangsaan + Sekolah Menengah) where it's the medium of instruction. For Cantonese, my heritage language, I can hold conversations comfortably on a variety of topics, including abstract and less common ones. However, in Mandarin my range of spoken expression is limited to concrete, straightforward matters.

I prefer the term "main language" because that's what it means. "Mother tongue" or "first language" can be misleading especially in my case. People look at me, see that I'm Chinese and assume my main language must be Mandarin and that I'm able to speak it like a native. No, no, no. Take it easy, man. Assumptions, ass-ump-tions can kill. I'm lost if you speak rapid-fire Mandarin and use all those idioms and alliterations that a high-level speaker would know. I'm just intermediate, for goodness sake. Keep it simple and straightforward.

I've also learnt some other languages to varying extents, such as Hakka, Penang Hokkien, Vietnamese, Thai, Tamil, Japanese, Portugese, Russian and French, but can't maintain a conversation so I wouldn't say I speak them. My mileage varies though, as I'm able to read French and Portuguese to some extent and speak enough Hakka to surprise people for a couple of minutes.

Other languages that I can speak at an elementary level (CEFR A2) are Spanish and German. For German I took a placement test (Einstufungsprüfung) for A2 at the Goethe-Institut Kuala Lumpur, so it validated my estimation of my speaking ability (although I'm sure my reading comprehension is better than A2). I wouldn't put them on my resume until I can speak them at the same level as my Mandarin which I reckon to be at intermediate level (B1 on the CEFR for those who know what the heck it is).

Spanish I haven't spoken for years so it's quite rusty, but can be revived quickly with some practice. I do have problems understanding Spain Spanish because my exposure has been primarily to American Spanish. I'm surprised that I remember so much vocabulary, so I must have done something right when learning the language thirteen years ago.

Yet I can read German and Spanish much better than Mandarin. I understand books and newspapers in German and Spanish, and can speed-read in both. But I read very slowly and struggle with deciphering the language of Chinese newspapers. Any book written in Chinese makes me fall asleep. Give me anything in the Roman alphabet and I'll digest it fast. Give me a non-alphabetic or complex writing system and I'll dump it into the slow cooker.

At the moment I'm learning German at full speed. That's what I'm focusing on now for language learning. Somehow German appeals to me because of the things I can read in it. Their open attitude towards certain matters, their variety of topics, their cultural advancement, and a rich library of content available on the Internet provide strong motivating factors for me to dive into it. The only difficulty I have now is finding real people to talk to, but in the meantime I'm doing intensive listening and transcribing to get used to the spoken language.

I'd like to learn more languages, but there are only 24 hours in a day and I have other things to do as well. So I'm just concentrating on one to bring it up to at least an upper intermediate level. Once I reach that point, I'll start learning another one. The rest are on maintenance or storage mode.

Poem Translation: Abuse and lies ...

Came across this poem by Luz Barbosa while browsing through a friend's Facebook status update. So I thought of translating it into Spanish and Mandarin Chinese, and did it.

Original poem sourced from
http://thelaststraw.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/abuse-and-lies-no-more-i-am-worth-it/

[Original English version]

"Abuse and lies … no more … I am worth it"
by Luz Barbosa

he tells me not to look that way
he tells me not to dress that way
he tells me not to talk that way
he tells me not to act that way

he tells me I better shut up or else
he tells me I am worthless
he tells me my no’s are meaningless
he doesn’t care that I don’t want to or that I am crying

he tells me he loves me
he tells me I am his and I will always be, that he owns me
he tells me no one will ever love me like he does

he tells me I am stupid
he tells me I am a hoe
he tells me I am ugly

he sucks the life out of me

I finally had enough
I could not continue to live this way
I realized these were all lies
I decided this behavior was unacceptable
I finally got out

I was young
I didn’t know any better
I kept it to myself
I was ashamed
I lived in fear

I refuse to be controlled
I refuse to be abused
I refuse to be miserable
I refuse to be a battered woman

I deserve to be safe
I deserve respect
I deserve to be loved
I deserve to be happy
I deserve to be free to be me
I deserve to be treated well

I am worth it!

=====
[Mandarin Chinese version / 普通話/華語/中文]

＂虐待与謊言。。。不要。。。我值得＂
作者: 卢斯·巴博萨

他告訴我別望那邊
他告訴我別這樣打扮
他告訴我別這樣講話
他告訴我別這樣做事

他罵我收聲如果不。。。
他罵我沒有價值
他說我的拒絕沒有意思
他不理我講不要還是我哭的眼淚

他說他愛我
他說我是他的，我永遠是他的，他擁有我
他告訴我沒有人會像他這樣愛我

他罵我笨蛋
他罵我妓女
他罵我醜樣

他拉出我的心靈

我終於不能忍受
我不可以這樣活下去
我覺悟全部是謊言
我決定這行為不可以接受
最後我出去

那時我幼小
我不知道有其他辦法
我全部藏在自己裡面
我很慚愧
我生活在恐懼中

我不要被控制
我不要被虐待
我不要被悲慘
我不要成為一個被虐待的女人

我值得安全
我值得尊重
我值得被爱
我值得幸福
我值得有自由成為真實的我
我值得被人對我好

我值得！

=====
[Spanish version / Version español]

"Abusos y mentiras ... no más ... valgo la pena"
por Luz Barbosa

él me dice que no mires por allá 
me dice que no te vistes así
me dice que no hables así
me dice que no te comportes así

él me dice ¡Cállate! si no ...
me dice que nada valgo
me dice que mis negativas no tienen significados
no le importa que no quiero o que estoy llorando

él me dice que me ama
me dice que pertenezco a él y siempre será, que él es mi dueño
me dice que nadie me encantará como él

él me dice que soy estupida
me dice que soy puta
me dice que soy fea

él saca la vida de mi cuerpo

por fin yo no podía soportarlo más
no podía seguir viviendo de esta manera
me di cuenta de que eran todas mentiras
decidí que este conducta era inaceptable
por último salió

yo era joven
no sabía lo que hacía
me guardé para mí
me daba vergüenza
vivía en el temor

yo me niego a ser controlado
me niego a ser objeto de abuso
me niego a ser miserable
me niego a ser una mujer maltratada

merezco estar seguro
merezco respeto
merezco ser amado
merezco ser feliz
merezco ser libre para ser yo
merezco ser tratado bien

valgo la pena!