Today is the day before Chinese New Year in the Gregorian Year 2012. I should be feeling happy, right? Yet I'm not. Unlike the festive seasons of a few years ago, somehow this year I don't feel like celebrating anything. Not even the most recent Christmas and New Year.
I don't know if this is a temporary setback or a state of regression. I do remember that some years ago there was a time when celebrations and festivals meant nothing to me. Because I was very down and hurting inside due to certain issues. Then came a point when my life changed for the better and I started celebrating again, looking forward to each festival.
Even as "recent" as two years ago I was happy to celebrate. I felt optimism and eagerness. But was it due to ignorance? In the two years after that, I went through some disasters. That really caused deep hurt not of the physical type but rather the inner type. I don't think I've fully recovered while I'm writing this blog post.
The wise say, when you have to move on, move on. Yet there's something about me that holds me back. It's sentimentality and the memories still fresh in mind.
Some who talk to me, manage to help somewhat, a few who do, end up making things worse. That's why I rather not talk to some people. As the saying goes, those who really know you, know you; those who don't, don't know any better.
今日係除夕。應該開心嗎，呵？不過唔係喎。唔係好似幾年前嘅節日，今年我乜都唔想慶祝。正話過咗嘅聖誕節同埋公曆新年都冇慶祝到。
我唔知呢個情況係暫時或者真係退步。我記得幾年前有一段時間乜嘢乜嘢節日慶祝對我冇意思。嗰陣時我好傷心好激心為咗幾件事。然後我嘅生活變好咗，有啲事情有進步，所以開始慶祝每個節日。
兩年前我仲係好開心慶祝。覺得有樂觀有熱心。但係。。唔通我真係無知？最近嘅兩年，我面對唔少災難。整到我好痛，唔係肉體上嘅痛，係內心嘅痛。而家寫緊呢個部落格發佈嘅時間，我好似未好嗮。
有智慧嘅人講：唔好再鑽牛角尖。但係有啲嘢我仲係過唔到。係感傷同埋好清楚嘅記憶。
有啲人同我傾偈，可以幫到，幾個噉樣做，點知呢就越整越衰。所以呢，一啲人我唔想同佢哋講嘢。嗰啲真係識得我就會了解我，嗰啲唔識嘅呢，唔會識。
*NOTE: In case of any discrepancy between the English and
the Cantonese version of this blog post, the English version shall
prevail. I'm not good at expressing myself in Cantonese or any form of
Chinese, written or spoken. /
如果英文版及中文（廣州白話）版有任何差異，一切以英文版為準。我唔係好識用廣州白話或者任何中文嘅語言，無論係話或者文。
Showing posts with label hopes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hopes. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December 2009: To Date
I've not been writing much due to being kept busy with work and other activities. So much to do, that's good, can't complain. As long as I'm productively occupied.
Some people write an end-of-year e-mail or posting to talk about things that happened throughout the year. Guess I should, there's so much to write about, but I'll only cover some aspects considered write-able. I'll write event by event, not necessarily in chronological order as it takes less time to write.
Went on more road trips and a few local travel destinations, such as Tioman Island, Cameron Highlands, Ipoh, Bentong, and Tanjung Sepat. Haven't been to Penang this year, although I made trips there in 2007 and 2008. Genting was in 2008 if I recall correctly. I enjoyed all these trips, saw new places and made new acquaintances.
Started an exercise routine after Raya to stay healthy and do something positive for myself. Age is catching up and I have to do something to keep cholesterol levels low. At the same time, exercise and workout provide a healthy way to deal with accumulated stress.
Re-established contact with a few old friends that I knew from many years ago but lost touch for a long time. So glad to know that they're doing well in life, at least we can share the joy and happiness.
Lost a friend. It's sad when this happens, especially when the relations of friendship have been established for a long time, but friendship can't be forced. 咁样嘅事发生真系好可惜。尤其是嗰个嘢唔识做人。唔识珍惜自己嘅朋友，虽然佢孤寒我冇咁介意但系佢当我唔喺呢度喎。Summary is, a clear-cut case of 重色轻友。我以後唔会帮佢联络因为呢啲咁样嘅人只系有问题先会嚟搵我，冇问题就唔睬我。
Maintained a sense of optimism even in the not-so-good of times. It's not an easy task, but still doable. Not easy to break the cycle of sadness but it must be done for your own sake. I've seen a lot of people getting so depressed, sad, angry, worked over issues that are petty if viewed from a wider angle. How I wish they wouldn't let such things trouble them, but then again, who am I to say anything about others?
Restarted dance classes after an absence of three and a half years. Enrolled in Havana Estudio ongoing Bachata class, it's very interesting and different material covered every week. I find it pretty interesting and in-depth, although at most I can only absorb about half of what's being taught. Oh well, at least I get some benefit out of classes.
Took more photos of cute doggies and kitties. Yeah this sounds trivial or nonsense to some, but I think kitties and doggies are cute too, even stray ones. If only I could talk to them and find out their opinions. Some friends of mine can communicate with them, I don't know how but they just do it. Interesting.
That's about it for now.
Some people write an end-of-year e-mail or posting to talk about things that happened throughout the year. Guess I should, there's so much to write about, but I'll only cover some aspects considered write-able. I'll write event by event, not necessarily in chronological order as it takes less time to write.
Went on more road trips and a few local travel destinations, such as Tioman Island, Cameron Highlands, Ipoh, Bentong, and Tanjung Sepat. Haven't been to Penang this year, although I made trips there in 2007 and 2008. Genting was in 2008 if I recall correctly. I enjoyed all these trips, saw new places and made new acquaintances.
Started an exercise routine after Raya to stay healthy and do something positive for myself. Age is catching up and I have to do something to keep cholesterol levels low. At the same time, exercise and workout provide a healthy way to deal with accumulated stress.
Re-established contact with a few old friends that I knew from many years ago but lost touch for a long time. So glad to know that they're doing well in life, at least we can share the joy and happiness.
Lost a friend. It's sad when this happens, especially when the relations of friendship have been established for a long time, but friendship can't be forced. 咁样嘅事发生真系好可惜。尤其是嗰个嘢唔识做人。唔识珍惜自己嘅朋友，虽然佢孤寒我冇咁介意但系佢当我唔喺呢度喎。Summary is, a clear-cut case of 重色轻友。我以後唔会帮佢联络因为呢啲咁样嘅人只系有问题先会嚟搵我，冇问题就唔睬我。
Maintained a sense of optimism even in the not-so-good of times. It's not an easy task, but still doable. Not easy to break the cycle of sadness but it must be done for your own sake. I've seen a lot of people getting so depressed, sad, angry, worked over issues that are petty if viewed from a wider angle. How I wish they wouldn't let such things trouble them, but then again, who am I to say anything about others?
Restarted dance classes after an absence of three and a half years. Enrolled in Havana Estudio ongoing Bachata class, it's very interesting and different material covered every week. I find it pretty interesting and in-depth, although at most I can only absorb about half of what's being taught. Oh well, at least I get some benefit out of classes.
Took more photos of cute doggies and kitties. Yeah this sounds trivial or nonsense to some, but I think kitties and doggies are cute too, even stray ones. If only I could talk to them and find out their opinions. Some friends of mine can communicate with them, I don't know how but they just do it. Interesting.
That's about it for now.
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