Thoughts on my dancing and participation in the local salsa scene

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Background Story

In recent weeks I have been having so many thoughts on my participation in the local salsa dance scene. I need to address them and settle what needs to be settled.

I've been finding it hard to feel satisfied after a dancing night out. And this is coming from someone who started salsa-ing way back in 2000, a slow learner who took three to four times longer than others to learn the basics, and used to enjoy it very much especially in the USA. I have been in the local scene since my return in 2003 and yes, I've seen a lot of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'd say the years from 2005 to 2009 and then from 2010 to 2011 were good overall for me. To summarize, those were the Golden Years. But of course, good times never last, bad times do and will happen.

In fact for a period of time, the year 2012 and most of 2013 specifically, I withdrew myself from the scene due to severe dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Things happened that threw me down to a very low point in my life and I didn't want to be reminded of my failures by seeing those who succeeded where I failed.

Only after my life got better did I come back gradually. But I wasn't the same anymore. I didn't feel the need to dance as many dances as possible. I became picky, choosy, selective about many things - the songs, the persons, the potential connection, things like that. If I got three or four satisfying dances, that fulfilled my satisfaction quota for the night and I would go home unless I felt like hanging around and catching up with acquaintances or friends.

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These are the thoughts I've had that bug me (in no particular order):

Why I don't dance often anymore.
Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.
Whether I should take classes or workshops.
Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.
When should I stop dancing altogether.
Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.
Whether I should take up Kizomba.
Why am I not talking much most of the time.

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Why I don't dance often anymore. Reasons why I do not dance much at times:

I don't like the music. This is of course a very subjective matter. What I don't like, other people may like, and vice versa. I could say that a particular song is damn boring, repetitive, long-winded, hard to catch and so on, but someone else might say it's damn good.
The gender balance is skewed. Not enough girls, in simple straightforward language.
Not enough people to dance with.
I don't like the person. Again for whatever reason, maybe because we don't have a good connection, or maybe because that person is an asshole or something. But if I'm asked I usually just go through the motions for the sake of social harmony. But I try to avoid if possible.
I'm not feeling well. If this is the case I wouldn't go out unless I want to just meet a friend or some acquaintances.

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Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.

At one time I learnt quite a fair bit of nice leadable Bachata moves. But of late, I have been losing interest in Bachata. Maybe there's no connection with my partner? Maybe I forgot how to do some of the moves I learnt? Maybe I feel there's too many Bachata songs being played in a row? Maybe most of the dances I've had aren't satisfying?
I know Bachata is popular, but I somehow can't do it as well as I do Salsa. Perhaps only one dance in three, four, or five is satisfying. Often, none.
Unless I somehow rediscover the satisfaction in dancing Bachata, most probably I'm on my way out.

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Whether I should take classes or workshops.

To be honest, I enjoyed the upper beginner and pre-intermediate classes in those days. But after reaching the intermediate level of classes, I just didn't enjoy the class anymore. To be fair they do have some cool routines, but I hated shines and wasn't interested in half the things in class. So I lost motivation and stopped going after a while.
The short simple answer: Most probably not, because I don't enjoy taking class anymore.

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Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.

I should address the difference between these two general categories of dancers:
Those who want to challenge themselves with difficult stuff, do performance, go competition, take advanced stuff and whatnot, and
Those who just want to learn the basics and a usable, leadable, memorizable repertoire of favourite moves and cool stuff that is not too difficult to acquire, and strictly for the purpose of social dancing.

I belong to the latter group. I hate the stress and pressure of forcing myself to be what I am not. I joined dancing to reduce stress levels and I don't need any extra stress to screw me up.
Otherwise what's the whole damn point of dancing? If it gives me more stress, I might as well do something else instead.

I told myself I will not do performance or competition or anything that is difficult to grasp and gives me hell lot of stress and pressure. That's non-negotiable.
I will only do as much as I can take without getting stressed out.
I will only do what I want to do. I pick and choose.

A lot of those who are really into dancing dance because they love the dance, they want to challenge themselves, to perform, to excel, to express themselves and so on. It's all good and I respect that.

But for me, my goals and motivations are not the same.

I go into dancing purely for the social aspect, human connection, and in the good old days, to reduce stress. To get to know people. That is why solo dancing never attracted me. Then again my definition of reduce stress may be very different from other people.

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When should I stop dancing altogether.

If I feel I'm not getting what I want from it, then it's time to get out and do something else.

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Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.

Again, I doubt I can dance to the maximum for three nights in a row. After a few songs I'll just be recycling moves. And perhaps a bad experience I had during SISF 2010 affected my mind regarding the kinds of songs to expect. Please save me from those damn boring repetitive 8-minute long songs! 
As I'm a guy, I won't benefit from going to major events compared to the girls. They can dance with all the superstars and shine as a result, but I will run out of moves if I were to dance with the stars. The only good thing I can think of for a guy is having to improvise on the spot and hoping for a good connection.
As for workshops during events, it's very draining to go to all of them, and I am not keen on perhaps half of what's offered. And from other people's experience, they end up unable to retain 50% of what they learnt.
Only plus point for motivation is the chance to meet up with acquaintances and friends I may not have seen for a long time.

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Whether I should take up Kizomba.

I like the music. But I don't know how to dance it. What's holding me back is that I have not picked up a new dance for years and I dread having to hit the learning curve again. It took me three to four times longer than others to overcome.
And perhaps my embarrassing experience with West Coast Swing made me very reluctant to start learning a totally new dance. I took a workshop consisting of two parts. The first part I could cope. The second part really killed me.
I couldn't absorb anything. Couldn't get the whole sequence of steps and moves into my mind. You know, it's like when you're studying and nothing enters your brain despite you forcing yourself to do everything to learn it. I don't want that to happen again.
Perhaps a slow, controlled entry into Kizomba would work. Perhaps.

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Now this, and it is not only salsa, is that quite often I don't feel like talking. If I feel like it and can click, then it's okay, otherwise I'm much more comfortable saying nothing.

Reasons why I do not talk much at times: (This is not necessarily a salsa thing, it can happen in any kind of social gathering or event)

The subject matter is something I don't care about.
The subject matter is something too deep or technical or not familiar to me.
The language used is not what I'm comfortable with. For example some people insist on using deep Mandarin with me when I only know basic stuff. Just because I look Chinese doesn't mean I can speak perfect Mandarin with all those indirect allusions and classical language from Confucius' time.
We just don't click for whatever reason.
The people are not friendly.
I'm mentally drained from a long day or whatever reason and the last thing I want to do is force myself to talk when I just want to sit back and relax.

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To Sum It Up

Perhaps I am fed up of the scene after being in it for too long. Perhaps I am rather opinionated on certain matters that affect my satisfaction level. Perhaps I have not been meeting enough of the right people. Of course I have met some nice people, but it's not enough to give me the motivation to continue dancing.

At the end of the day we may have to disagree on certain things. It's okay. I'm not you and you're not me. My motivations may not be the same as yours.

Bachata Notes From Class 20100109

Bachata Notes: (1) Contact points: a) arm b) side c) knee; close is needed for some cool moves. (2) When dipping, balance the weight / counter / centralize. (3) Shoulder lead for "boneka" head styling. (4) Empty right pocket.

Shuo Ni Shuo Ni 说你说你 Bachata Song (Sung to the tune of "Shorty Shorty" by Xtreme)

Encountered this on a recent salsa outing and I quite like this song. I thought it was a Mandarin bachata but it's actually by Xtreme. The way they pronounced "Shorty Shorty" sounded like "Shuo Ni Shuo Ni". Hey, we could easily create a Mandarin version of this song!

Hence I'm presenting below a compilation of the original Spanish lyrics with English translation from lyricstranslate.com and a Mandarin version which is partly a translation of the original and partly a different version.

Acknowledgments to Tracy for contributing some lyrical ideas!

Music Video on Youtube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPxTdoaUlgc

English translation sourced from
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/Shorty-Shorty-Shorty-Shorty.html

Mandarin by me with the help of Google Translate and Wiktionary

Shorty Shorty a.k.a. Shuo Ni Shuo Ni 说你说你

[Verse 1]
What should I say? What should I do?
Dimelo pronto, que muero sin tu luz
Dime que ya, hoy regresas a mi
Si te entregas a mi, yo me entrego a ti

What should I say? What should I do?
Tell me soon, cause I’m dying without your light
tell me that your coming back to me, today
if you give yourself to me, I’ll give myself to you

wo yinggai shuome? yinggai zuome?
kuaidian gaosu wo, wo jiulai si le
gaosu wo ni jintian huilai gen wo
ruguo song niziji gei wo, wo song woziji gei ni

我应该说么？ 应该做么？
快点告诉我， 我就来死了
告诉我你今天回来跟我
如果送你自己给我， 我送我自己给你

[Bridge]
Yo se porque
De noche no duermo mas
Y se porque
Mi vida no es vida
Porque no te tengo y porque no te encuentro, amor
Por eso te dedico esta cancion

I know why
I can’t sleep anymore at night
And I know why
My life is no life
Because I don’t have you with me, and because I can’t find you, baby
That’s why I’m dedicating this song to you

wo dong weihe
zai wanshang bukeyi shuijiao
hai dong weihe
wo shenghuo dengyu meiyou
yinwei meiyou ni peiwo erqie wo zhao budao ni, baobei
suoyine wo zheshouge fengxian gei ni

我懂为何
在晚上不可以睡觉
还懂为何
我生活等於没有
因为没有你陪我而且我找不到你， 宝贝
所以呢我这首歌奉献给你

[Chorus]
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
No vez que me muero por ti
Shorty, shorty
Y sin ti no podria exsistir

(Steve Styles lookin' for you)
(Steve Styles, Danny D, X, X,Xtreme)

Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
don’t you see I’m dying to have you
Shorty, shorty
I can’t live without you

(Steve Styles lookin' for you)
(Steve Styles, Danny D, X, X,Xtreme)

shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni zhen shi piao liang
shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni ling wo xinqing feng kuang
shuo ni shuo ni
ni kan bu kan dao wo ai ni
shuo ni shuo ni
meiyou ni wo bukeneng cunzai

说你说你
宝贝你真是漂亮
说你说你
宝贝你令我心情疯狂
说你说你
你看不看到我爱你
说你说你
没有你我不可能存在

(Steve Styles zhao zhe ni 找着你)
(Steve Styles, Danny D, X, X, Xtreme)

[Verse 2]
Where do I go? Where do I find you?
Quiero verte, me hace daño
Dime que ya, necesitas de mi
Que se que no eres feliz
Sin mi no puedes vivir

Where do I go? Where do I find you?
wanting to see you, hurts me
So tell me that you need me
Because I know you’re not happy
You can’t live without me

yao qu nali? zai nali zao ni?
dengdai ni, rang wo shang xin
gen wo shuohua, gaosu wo, ni yao wo
wo ye zhidao ni bukaixin
meiyou wo ni buneng shengcun

要去哪里？在哪里找你？
等待你， 让我伤心
跟我说话， 告诉我，你要我
我也知道你不开心
没有我你不能生存

[Bridge]
Yo se porque
De noche no duermo mas
Y se porque
Mi vida no es vida
Porque no te tengo y porque no te encuentro, amor
Por eso te dedico esta cancion

I know why
I can’t sleep anymore at night
And I know why
My life is no life
Because I don’t have you with me, and because I can’t find you, baby
That’s why I’m dedicating this song to you

wo dong weihe
zai wanshang bukeyi shuijiao
hai dong weihe
wo shenghuo dengyu meiyou
yinwei meiyou ni peiwo erqie wo zhao budao ni, baobei
suoyine wo zheshouge fengxian gei ni

我懂为何
在晚上不可以睡觉
还懂为何
我生活等於没有
因为没有你陪我而且我找不到你， 宝贝
所以呢我这首歌奉献给你

[Chorus]
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
don’t you see I’m dying to have you
Shorty, shorty
I can’t live without you
[x2]

(X, X, Xtreme)

Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
don’t you see I’m dying to have you
Shorty, shorty
I can’t live without you
[x2]

(X, X, Xtreme)

shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni zhen shi piao liang
shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni ling wo xinqing feng kuang
shuo ni shuo ni
ni kan bu kan dao wo ai ni
shuo ni shuo ni
meiyou ni wo bukeneng cunzai

说你说你
宝贝你真是漂亮
说你说你
宝贝你令我心情疯狂
说你说你
你看不看到我爱你
说你说你
没有你我不可能存在
[x2]

(X, X, Xtreme)

[Chorus]
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
No vez que me muero por ti
Shorty, shorty
Y sin ti no podria exsistir
[x2]

Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you look so fine
Shorty, shorty
Baby girl you're blowin my mind
Shorty, shorty
don’t you see I’m dying to have you
Shorty, shorty
I can’t live without you
[x2]

shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni zhen shi piao liang
shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei ni ling wo xinqing feng kuang
shuo ni shuo ni
ni kan bu kan dao wo ai ni
shuo ni shuo ni
meiyou ni wo bukeneng cunzai

说你说你
宝贝你真是漂亮
说你说你
宝贝你令我心情疯狂
说你说你
你看不看到我爱你
说你说你
没有你我不可能存在
[x2]

Alternatives for the [Chorus] section:

shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei bu yao li kai wo
shuo ni shuo ni
yi sheng yi shi zhen xin ai ni
shuo ni shuo ni
wo mei yi tian dou xiang nian ni
shuo ni shuo ni
wo xi huan ni pei wo zai zhe li

说你说你
宝贝不要离开我
说你说你
一生一世真心爱你
说你说你
我每一天都想念你
说你说你
我喜欢你陪我在这里

shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei bie rang wo deng dai
shuo ni shuo ni
bao bei wo yao ni de re ai
shuo ni shuo ni
wo mei tian deng dai ni hui lai
shuo ni shuo ni
yi qi chuang zuo yi ge hao wei lai

说你说你
宝贝别让我等待
说你说你
宝贝我要你的热爱
说你说你
我每天等待你回来
说你说你
一起创作一个好未来

shuo ni shuo ni
bu yao zai bu li bu cai
shuo ni shuo ni
qing ni bie zai bu mei bu ai
shuo ni shuo ni
dao di shei shi ni de zhen ai
shuo ni shuo ni
wo yao ni gei wo yi dian xin xin

说你说你
不要再不理不睬
说你说你
请你别再不美不爱
说你说你
到底谁是你的真爱
说你说你
我要你给我一点信心