Two years ago, in 2016, I wrote this:
http://ujoelee.blogspot.com/2016/08/im-just-language-learner-not-polyglot.html
Let's see how far I've gone this year.
On 30 July 2018, I passed the Goethe C1 exam in Kuala Lumpur. I have German C1 written on my resume, and I speak the language well enough to communicate with native speakers. Consider this a birthday present exactly one month in advance.
I believe my speaking ability in German overtook my Mandarin sometime in 2017. Most probably in mid-year. The opportunity to teach A1 and A2 learners gave me a strong push to improve my reading and speaking especially with monolingual textbooks which I had not up to that point in time used.
At the end of 2016 I had found a few language exchange partners via the HelloTalk app. In February 2017 I got to know Nataša from Bosnia, who was learning superintensively on her own and was at that time active on the DW - Deutsch lernen Facebook site. In fact from mid-2016 up to late 2017 I diligently hand-copied all the "Aufgaben & Lösungen vom (date)" on a daily basis and also other postings on verbs, easily confused phrases and so on.
Thanks to Nataša I got inspired to learn Serbian. I listened to songs, watched YouTube videos, basically the same thing I did to learn German. However, German learning took up 90% of my time and so my Serbian is still at the A1 stage. It's not yet up to a level I can really converse in.
Now that my German is firmly established at C1 level, I can learn more Serbian, but soon I shall start a new full-time job, and with that means less time for everything else. Still I am very grateful to be given the chance to step back into a so-called "normal" life after years in the wilderness.
Nobody knows the future. I do not know if all these was "pre-planned" by a higher power, but I do know that when I started to learn German seriously in early 2016 (even before the CELTA course started), it was like an inner conviction that I would go far with it.
It didn't happen overnight, it took time and meeting the right people along the way. People who practiced speaking or chatting with me, people who gave me the chance to share my passion and knowledge, people who guided me with advice, feedback and suggestions, people who opened doors for me, people who corrected me when I made mistakes. I am grateful for all these.
Even when I was down and out in terms of career and finances I still had the dream of going to Europe one day. I wanted to be in a German-speaking environment and experience being there, interacting with like-minded people, savoring the cool weather and participating in a culture different from the one that predominates in my home country. Now I am one step closer to the dream, the immediate challenge is to deliver the goods in my work first.
In a month I will be forty. Ever since some thing happened in the past seven years or so, I just knew that my life path will never be conventional. I just cannot live the same stereotypical conventional family life or career path that many others live. It has to be something that suits me and that I can do better than other things.
Well, as they say in German, "die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt". I believe as long as I continue to do the right thing at the right time, stay true to myself and do good, constructive things in life, I will survive. There will of course be down times, but they shall not be fatal.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2018
Thursday, September 1, 2016
German essay: Meine Probleme
[Corrections based on feedback received on Saturday, 5 November 2016.
Story originally told in Cantonese, which I translated to English and then to German. I'm sure there are grammar and idiomatic errors in the text. So if anyone reads this and finds errors, please let me know and I'll correct them. Thanks.]
Meine Probleme
Ich fühle mich sehr, sehr gestresst. Zu viele Probleme. Zu vieleDrücken Druck/Stress. Es ist kompliziert. Ich bin müde. Bitte, bitte sei nicht zu streng mit mir im Klasse Unterricht, weil ich mich dann nicht konzentrieren kann. Wie schläfrig ich bin, kannst du sehen. Ich konnte nicht ausruhen. Ich habe nicht gut geschlafen.
Das Finanzielle. Die Beziehung. Die Familie. Die Arbeit. Diesen Sachen machen stressen mich gestresst. Am schwersten ist das Finanzielle. Nach dem die Tod meines Vaters, musste ich meinen jungen Geschwistern unterstützen. Es gibt fünf von ihnen und sie brauchen Geld. Dafür muss ich mich beim Arbeiten sehr viel anstrengen. Sie brauchen Geld für das die Lebenskosten. Über die Beziehung? Du weißt schon, was passiert mit meinem Freund. Ich habe es dir erzählt. Die familiäre Probleme sind mit dem Finanzielle verbindet verbunden. Die Arbeit auch. Manchmal gibt es Zahlungsverzug oder eine Absage in letzter Minute. Manchmal ist es so schwer, einen Deal zu abzuschließen.
Du kannst michüber nach meinen Problemen fragen. Ich kann dir mehr erzählen. Es ist okay mit mir für mich. Wenn ich mir nicht sicher bin wie es sagen bin soll, frage ich dich. Ich weiß, dass du mir den mit Worten helfen wirst. Glücklicherweise kannst du Kantonesisch und Mandarin. Du kannst es übersetzen.
Mach dir keine Sorgen! Mir wird es gut gehen. Ich werde okay sein. Ich kann es schaffen. Ich kann meine Probleme lösen. Egal was passiert, ich werde überleben.
Story originally told in Cantonese, which I translated to English and then to German. I'm sure there are grammar and idiomatic errors in the text. So if anyone reads this and finds errors, please let me know and I'll correct them. Thanks.]
Meine Probleme
Ich fühle mich sehr, sehr gestresst. Zu viele Probleme. Zu viele
Das Finanzielle. Die Beziehung. Die Familie. Die Arbeit. Diese
Du kannst mich
Mach dir keine Sorgen! Mir wird es gut gehen. Ich werde okay sein. Ich kann es schaffen. Ich kann meine Probleme lösen. Egal was passiert, ich werde überleben.
Friday, August 26, 2016
My German placement test experience at Goethe-Institut Kuala Lumpur
Einstufungsprüfung @Goethe-Institut Kuala Lumpur:
Reading comprehension & grammar: Borderline A2-B1
Speaking: A2
Test date: Thursday, 30 June 2016
So I signed up for the Goethe-Institut placement test for A2 level during the last week of June 2016. I had studied German on my own, alone, without a speaking partner since January this year. I wanted to know where I stood and how much I've achieved.
I'm glad. The examiner, Tim was impressed. He said that very few people reach this stage studying on their own alone.
I was nervous. I stumbled and made mistakes in speaking. Sometimes I couldn't find the right word in time, sometimes I used the wrong tense, but when it was pointed out I could rephrase it in the correct tense form.
So speaking is definitely at A2 level. On par with students who have taken four months of intensive, full-time group classes. What I did on my own in five months gave me the results I expected. If I had someone to practice speaking with, I'd have gone even further. The results could have been better.
That means what I did was right. All the Goldlisting for vocabulary, reading authentic texts, building up from the basic blocks, isolated pronunciation practice followed by reciting sentences, hand-copying out 10,000 sentences, active, intensive listening to content I'm interested in, paying attention to words, all those stuff ... :)
Tim told me that my reading comprehension and grammar is somewhere between A2 and B1. But from the test results alone it's not clear exactly which area I didn't do so well. In my opinion it's most probably conditionals, complex sentences and adjective declination with definite and indefinite articles. He said it would be good if I were to strengthen up those weak spots in A2.2 grammar before starting B1.
Before I left, he gave me the URLs of websites I can use, such as the Goethe-Institut's online library and learner community where I could find people with the same interest in learning German. Very helpful :)
Reading comprehension & grammar: Borderline A2-B1
Speaking: A2
Test date: Thursday, 30 June 2016
So I signed up for the Goethe-Institut placement test for A2 level during the last week of June 2016. I had studied German on my own, alone, without a speaking partner since January this year. I wanted to know where I stood and how much I've achieved.
I'm glad. The examiner, Tim was impressed. He said that very few people reach this stage studying on their own alone.
I was nervous. I stumbled and made mistakes in speaking. Sometimes I couldn't find the right word in time, sometimes I used the wrong tense, but when it was pointed out I could rephrase it in the correct tense form.
So speaking is definitely at A2 level. On par with students who have taken four months of intensive, full-time group classes. What I did on my own in five months gave me the results I expected. If I had someone to practice speaking with, I'd have gone even further. The results could have been better.
That means what I did was right. All the Goldlisting for vocabulary, reading authentic texts, building up from the basic blocks, isolated pronunciation practice followed by reciting sentences, hand-copying out 10,000 sentences, active, intensive listening to content I'm interested in, paying attention to words, all those stuff ... :)
Tim told me that my reading comprehension and grammar is somewhere between A2 and B1. But from the test results alone it's not clear exactly which area I didn't do so well. In my opinion it's most probably conditionals, complex sentences and adjective declination with definite and indefinite articles. He said it would be good if I were to strengthen up those weak spots in A2.2 grammar before starting B1.
Before I left, he gave me the URLs of websites I can use, such as the Goethe-Institut's online library and learner community where I could find people with the same interest in learning German. Very helpful :)
Monday, May 9, 2016
Of gossipers and toxic people
You know what? Gossipers never ask me about things, but they tend to ask those who interacted with me before. And from there they jump to their own conclusions.
-----
M's advice on this topic and related stuff:
Meet new people.
See if you like.
Get out of the old zone of people if you are no longer happy.
No, no, don't think like that.
Don't say that about yourself.
Don't care what other / some / [fill in the blank] people think.
Take up a new hobby, forget [fill in the blank].
Never mind. Move on.
Leave the old. Start fresh.
Start a new life.
Prove the stupid [fill in the blank] people wrong.
If you know who the gossipers are, then stay away from them. These people are 小人。("Xiu Yan")
I never liked the people there actually.
I don't like the vibe there.
Then move away from it.
Do something new.
Forget the past, enjoy your [fill in the blank] and move on.
Before you can (find back some part of your old happy self, the part that can be carefree and accepting of who you are), you have to let go of the unhappiness.
You move on to live happily.
Forget about [fill in the blank].
[Pronoun] doesn't deserve you at all.
[Pronoun] doesn't deserve your compassion.
If [name] had been through that much then [subject pronoun] should know that it is not right to put you down.
If [pronoun] had really been through so much, anything that comes to [object pronoun] should be heaven.
[Subject pronoun] won't be fussy.
If [subject pronoun] is a survivor, [subject pronoun] will work with you to make both your lives better. Not make you feel miserable.
[Name] doesn't deserve your time.
And you definitely should not feel bad about what [pronoun] said. Because [pronoun] is the [adjective] one here.
Just ignore [object pronoun].
Move forward with a positive mind.
-----
M's advice on this topic and related stuff:
Meet new people.
See if you like.
Get out of the old zone of people if you are no longer happy.
No, no, don't think like that.
Don't say that about yourself.
Don't care what other / some / [fill in the blank] people think.
Take up a new hobby, forget [fill in the blank].
Never mind. Move on.
Leave the old. Start fresh.
Start a new life.
Prove the stupid [fill in the blank] people wrong.
If you know who the gossipers are, then stay away from them. These people are 小人。("Xiu Yan")
I never liked the people there actually.
I don't like the vibe there.
Then move away from it.
Do something new.
Forget the past, enjoy your [fill in the blank] and move on.
Before you can (find back some part of your old happy self, the part that can be carefree and accepting of who you are), you have to let go of the unhappiness.
You move on to live happily.
Forget about [fill in the blank].
[Pronoun] doesn't deserve you at all.
[Pronoun] doesn't deserve your compassion.
If [name] had been through that much then [subject pronoun] should know that it is not right to put you down.
If [pronoun] had really been through so much, anything that comes to [object pronoun] should be heaven.
[Subject pronoun] won't be fussy.
If [subject pronoun] is a survivor, [subject pronoun] will work with you to make both your lives better. Not make you feel miserable.
[Name] doesn't deserve your time.
And you definitely should not feel bad about what [pronoun] said. Because [pronoun] is the [adjective] one here.
Just ignore [object pronoun].
Move forward with a positive mind.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
On entitled and demanding people
I think this is what I experienced with certain people. Whatever I do or did for them is never good enough. Somehow there will be a fault somewhere and I'll get hammered into the ground regardless.
Quote from Jade Joddle:
http://jadejoddle.com/how-and-why-i-help-people-with-boundaries/
"I discovered through my own life experience that when you go out of your way for entitled and demanding people, what you do for them is never enough. Either they come back the next day and ask for something more, or they complain that what they received was not good enough. You could give them the earth, but yet they would feel hard done by and cheated."
=====[END of quote]=====
-----
B's response:
This being the case, it's better to find out sooner than later how nasty someone can be, and clean break away from them so this will limit the damage rather than keep being in the toxicity. People like this are a cancer in a community and relationship. In the beginning maybe people don't know, but later it's definitely not necessary to associate with them after knowing what they're all about.
-----
F's response:
Well, good that you can recognize this type of destructive character. While they're destructive towards themselves, they're even more destructive towards others. Let go and move on. I still feel the pain but time will heal.
-----
Joe: The sadistic voice pops up from time to time, but if I'm busy, it usually doesn't hurt as much. Flashbacks do occur. Some thoughts or dreams trigger it. I feel that a refresher, a "restart" in a friendly setting (remember Tioman diving 2014) can help with healing.
F: You have to have the belief that people are good. Generally people are good. Not everyone is out to put you down.
Joe: I really hope so. Been exposed to too much "reality + pragmatism" school of thought doses.
F: It can be draining but you gotta get refreshed emotionally, mentally, and whatnot.
Joe: Yup, yes, I'll keep that in mind.
-----
K's opinion:
Ask yourself, are you thinking straight? Whose words do you choose to listen to? Are you living a life true to yourself?
=====
Quote from Jade Joddle:
http://jadejoddle.com/how-and-why-i-help-people-with-boundaries/
"I discovered through my own life experience that when you go out of your way for entitled and demanding people, what you do for them is never enough. Either they come back the next day and ask for something more, or they complain that what they received was not good enough. You could give them the earth, but yet they would feel hard done by and cheated."
=====[END of quote]=====
-----
B's response:
This being the case, it's better to find out sooner than later how nasty someone can be, and clean break away from them so this will limit the damage rather than keep being in the toxicity. People like this are a cancer in a community and relationship. In the beginning maybe people don't know, but later it's definitely not necessary to associate with them after knowing what they're all about.
-----
F's response:
Well, good that you can recognize this type of destructive character. While they're destructive towards themselves, they're even more destructive towards others. Let go and move on. I still feel the pain but time will heal.
-----
Joe: The sadistic voice pops up from time to time, but if I'm busy, it usually doesn't hurt as much. Flashbacks do occur. Some thoughts or dreams trigger it. I feel that a refresher, a "restart" in a friendly setting (remember Tioman diving 2014) can help with healing.
F: You have to have the belief that people are good. Generally people are good. Not everyone is out to put you down.
Joe: I really hope so. Been exposed to too much "reality + pragmatism" school of thought doses.
F: It can be draining but you gotta get refreshed emotionally, mentally, and whatnot.
Joe: Yup, yes, I'll keep that in mind.
-----
K's opinion:
Ask yourself, are you thinking straight? Whose words do you choose to listen to? Are you living a life true to yourself?
=====
The difference between sympathy, pity, and empathy
As defined by the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.
I don't want sympathy or pity. I appreciate empathy.
=====
The difference between sympathy, pity, and empathy
from
http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/
sympathy (noun)
BrE /ˈsɪmpəθi/ ; NAmE /ˈsɪmpəθi/
(pl. sympathies)
1. [uncountable, countable, usually plural] the feeling of being sorry for somebody; showing that you understand and care about somebody’s problems
: to express/feel sympathy for somebody
: I have no sympathy for Jan, it's all her own fault.
: I wish he'd show me a little more sympathy.
: Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to the victims of the war.
: (formal) May we offer our deepest sympathies on the death of your wife.
-----
pity (noun)
BrE /ˈpɪti/ ; NAmE /ˈpɪti/
1. [uncountable] pity (for somebody/something) a feeling of sympathy and sadness caused by the suffering and troubles of others
: I could only feel pity for what they were enduring.
: He had no pity for her.
: a look/feeling/surge of pity
: I took pity on her and lent her the money.
: (formal) I beg you to have pity on him.
: I don't want your pity.
-----
empathy (noun)
BrE /ˈempəθi/ ; NAmE /ˈempəθi/
[uncountable]
the ability to understand another person’s feelings, experience, etc.
: empathy (with somebody/something) the writer’s imaginative empathy with his subject
: empathy (for somebody/something) empathy for other people’s situations
: empathy (between A and B) The empathy between the two women was obvious
=====
I don't want sympathy or pity. I appreciate empathy.
=====
The difference between sympathy, pity, and empathy
from
http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/
sympathy (noun)
BrE /ˈsɪmpəθi/ ; NAmE /ˈsɪmpəθi/
(pl. sympathies)
1. [uncountable, countable, usually plural] the feeling of being sorry for somebody; showing that you understand and care about somebody’s problems
: to express/feel sympathy for somebody
: I have no sympathy for Jan, it's all her own fault.
: I wish he'd show me a little more sympathy.
: Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to the victims of the war.
: (formal) May we offer our deepest sympathies on the death of your wife.
-----
pity (noun)
BrE /ˈpɪti/ ; NAmE /ˈpɪti/
1. [uncountable] pity (for somebody/something) a feeling of sympathy and sadness caused by the suffering and troubles of others
: I could only feel pity for what they were enduring.
: He had no pity for her.
: a look/feeling/surge of pity
: I took pity on her and lent her the money.
: (formal) I beg you to have pity on him.
: I don't want your pity.
-----
empathy (noun)
BrE /ˈempəθi/ ; NAmE /ˈempəθi/
[uncountable]
the ability to understand another person’s feelings, experience, etc.
: empathy (with somebody/something) the writer’s imaginative empathy with his subject
: empathy (for somebody/something) empathy for other people’s situations
: empathy (between A and B) The empathy between the two women was obvious
=====
Monday, July 20, 2015
Closing chapter for You Whom I Shall Not Name
Sometimes it's easy to close a chapter with someone. Sometimes it's not, for a whole lot of reasons. Often it's easier to write off someone who's nasty and destructive compared to someone who's not.
It has taken a long time, relatively speaking, for me to sit down and write the closing chapter regarding you, whom I shall not name.
You aren't a bad person. You have a good heart. You have certain life experiences that affected the way you do things. You are successful in your own way despite the odds and negativity surrounding your environment.
We have had plenty of happy moments, happy memories, and constructive experiences together. For these I appreciate very much and acknowledge that I have learnt something useful. Thank you for all these.
But then, we must come back to reality. It's time to move on. For you and for me. I have reserved myself for you for long enough, and asked the key questions not once, but several times. And you have chosen not to join me. So be it.
If I see you, I shall wish you well, and may you find your happiness wherever it may be. Although I personally think you won't find it so easily, for reasons most closely related to your own self.
All the best to you. Letting go is never easy but I have to for the sake of reality.
(233 words)
=====
NOTE: Do not use Google Translate. It WON'T give you an accurate translation for the Cantonese text.
有時好容易結束一個連劇集。有時冇咁容易。如果嗰個人好𨶙臭又衰又姦嘅話，比較容易放手，佢在生在死都唔關我事。不過通常，我識得嘅人唔會衰到咁極端啦。
我要寫呢個結束集，關於一個人，只稱呼＂你＂。其實我經過好耐時間先寫到呢個結束。
你唔係姦人。你嘅心入便係好嘅。係你嘅生活背景，經過嘅嘢，參到嘅人，長大嘅時候，呢啲全部影響到你嘅選擇，影響到你做嘅嘢。雖然生活俾你好多限制，你都克服到呢啲障礙。所以我都佩服你。
我哋曾經一齊分享好多開心嘅時刻，剎那，同埋一齊學咗好多嘢。為咗呢啲全部，我感謝你。多謝嗮。呢啲真係有幫到我。
講嚟講去，都係要返返嚟現實世界。時間到咗。你要行你條路，我要行我條路。我有問過你唔只一擺，係幾擺，你嘅答案都係咁樣。你唔愛行呢條路。就係咁啦。
如果我見到你，我會祝你好運。希望你會搵到你追求嘅幸福無論喺何方。但係我覺得你唔會咁容易搵到，原因係喺你自己入便。
祝你好運。放手唔係咁容易，不過呢個係一個現實世界，唔理我鍾唔鍾意，都係冇變囉。
It has taken a long time, relatively speaking, for me to sit down and write the closing chapter regarding you, whom I shall not name.
You aren't a bad person. You have a good heart. You have certain life experiences that affected the way you do things. You are successful in your own way despite the odds and negativity surrounding your environment.
We have had plenty of happy moments, happy memories, and constructive experiences together. For these I appreciate very much and acknowledge that I have learnt something useful. Thank you for all these.
But then, we must come back to reality. It's time to move on. For you and for me. I have reserved myself for you for long enough, and asked the key questions not once, but several times. And you have chosen not to join me. So be it.
If I see you, I shall wish you well, and may you find your happiness wherever it may be. Although I personally think you won't find it so easily, for reasons most closely related to your own self.
All the best to you. Letting go is never easy but I have to for the sake of reality.
(233 words)
=====
NOTE: Do not use Google Translate. It WON'T give you an accurate translation for the Cantonese text.
有時好容易結束一個連劇集。有時冇咁容易。如果嗰個人好𨶙臭又衰又姦嘅話，比較容易放手，佢在生在死都唔關我事。不過通常，我識得嘅人唔會衰到咁極端啦。
我要寫呢個結束集，關於一個人，只稱呼＂你＂。其實我經過好耐時間先寫到呢個結束。
你唔係姦人。你嘅心入便係好嘅。係你嘅生活背景，經過嘅嘢，參到嘅人，長大嘅時候，呢啲全部影響到你嘅選擇，影響到你做嘅嘢。雖然生活俾你好多限制，你都克服到呢啲障礙。所以我都佩服你。
我哋曾經一齊分享好多開心嘅時刻，剎那，同埋一齊學咗好多嘢。為咗呢啲全部，我感謝你。多謝嗮。呢啲真係有幫到我。
講嚟講去，都係要返返嚟現實世界。時間到咗。你要行你條路，我要行我條路。我有問過你唔只一擺，係幾擺，你嘅答案都係咁樣。你唔愛行呢條路。就係咁啦。
如果我見到你，我會祝你好運。希望你會搵到你追求嘅幸福無論喺何方。但係我覺得你唔會咁容易搵到，原因係喺你自己入便。
祝你好運。放手唔係咁容易，不過呢個係一個現實世界，唔理我鍾唔鍾意，都係冇變囉。
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Thoughts on my dancing and participation in the local salsa scene
-----
Background Story
In recent weeks I have been having so many thoughts on my participation in the local salsa dance scene. I need to address them and settle what needs to be settled.
I've been finding it hard to feel satisfied after a dancing night out. And this is coming from someone who started salsa-ing way back in 2000, a slow learner who took three to four times longer than others to learn the basics, and used to enjoy it very much especially in the USA. I have been in the local scene since my return in 2003 and yes, I've seen a lot of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I'd say the years from 2005 to 2009 and then from 2010 to 2011 were good overall for me. To summarize, those were the Golden Years. But of course, good times never last, bad times do and will happen.
In fact for a period of time, the year 2012 and most of 2013 specifically, I withdrew myself from the scene due to severe dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Things happened that threw me down to a very low point in my life and I didn't want to be reminded of my failures by seeing those who succeeded where I failed.
Only after my life got better did I come back gradually. But I wasn't the same anymore. I didn't feel the need to dance as many dances as possible. I became picky, choosy, selective about many things - the songs, the persons, the potential connection, things like that. If I got three or four satisfying dances, that fulfilled my satisfaction quota for the night and I would go home unless I felt like hanging around and catching up with acquaintances or friends.
-----
These are the thoughts I've had that bug me (in no particular order):
Why I don't dance often anymore.
Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.
Whether I should take classes or workshops.
Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.
When should I stop dancing altogether.
Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.
Whether I should take up Kizomba.
Why am I not talking much most of the time.
-----
Why I don't dance often anymore. Reasons why I do not dance much at times:
I don't like the music. This is of course a very subjective matter. What I don't like, other people may like, and vice versa. I could say that a particular song is damn boring, repetitive, long-winded, hard to catch and so on, but someone else might say it's damn good.
The gender balance is skewed. Not enough girls, in simple straightforward language.
Not enough people to dance with.
I don't like the person. Again for whatever reason, maybe because we don't have a good connection, or maybe because that person is an asshole or something. But if I'm asked I usually just go through the motions for the sake of social harmony. But I try to avoid if possible.
I'm not feeling well. If this is the case I wouldn't go out unless I want to just meet a friend or some acquaintances.
-----
Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.
At one time I learnt quite a fair bit of nice leadable Bachata moves. But of late, I have been losing interest in Bachata. Maybe there's no connection with my partner? Maybe I forgot how to do some of the moves I learnt? Maybe I feel there's too many Bachata songs being played in a row? Maybe most of the dances I've had aren't satisfying?
I know Bachata is popular, but I somehow can't do it as well as I do Salsa. Perhaps only one dance in three, four, or five is satisfying. Often, none.
Unless I somehow rediscover the satisfaction in dancing Bachata, most probably I'm on my way out.
-----
Whether I should take classes or workshops.
To be honest, I enjoyed the upper beginner and pre-intermediate classes in those days. But after reaching the intermediate level of classes, I just didn't enjoy the class anymore. To be fair they do have some cool routines, but I hated shines and wasn't interested in half the things in class. So I lost motivation and stopped going after a while.
The short simple answer: Most probably not, because I don't enjoy taking class anymore.
-----
Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.
I should address the difference between these two general categories of dancers:
Those who want to challenge themselves with difficult stuff, do performance, go competition, take advanced stuff and whatnot, and
Those who just want to learn the basics and a usable, leadable, memorizable repertoire of favourite moves and cool stuff that is not too difficult to acquire, and strictly for the purpose of social dancing.
I belong to the latter group. I hate the stress and pressure of forcing myself to be what I am not. I joined dancing to reduce stress levels and I don't need any extra stress to screw me up.
Otherwise what's the whole damn point of dancing? If it gives me more stress, I might as well do something else instead.
I told myself I will not do performance or competition or anything that is difficult to grasp and gives me hell lot of stress and pressure. That's non-negotiable.
I will only do as much as I can take without getting stressed out.
I will only do what I want to do. I pick and choose.
A lot of those who are really into dancing dance because they love the dance, they want to challenge themselves, to perform, to excel, to express themselves and so on. It's all good and I respect that.
But for me, my goals and motivations are not the same.
I go into dancing purely for the social aspect, human connection, and in the good old days, to reduce stress. To get to know people. That is why solo dancing never attracted me. Then again my definition of reduce stress may be very different from other people.
-----
When should I stop dancing altogether.
If I feel I'm not getting what I want from it, then it's time to get out and do something else.
-----
Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.
Again, I doubt I can dance to the maximum for three nights in a row. After a few songs I'll just be recycling moves. And perhaps a bad experience I had during SISF 2010 affected my mind regarding the kinds of songs to expect. Please save me from those damn boring repetitive 8-minute long songs!
As I'm a guy, I won't benefit from going to major events compared to the girls. They can dance with all the superstars and shine as a result, but I will run out of moves if I were to dance with the stars. The only good thing I can think of for a guy is having to improvise on the spot and hoping for a good connection.
As for workshops during events, it's very draining to go to all of them, and I am not keen on perhaps half of what's offered. And from other people's experience, they end up unable to retain 50% of what they learnt.
Only plus point for motivation is the chance to meet up with acquaintances and friends I may not have seen for a long time.
-----
Whether I should take up Kizomba.
I like the music. But I don't know how to dance it. What's holding me back is that I have not picked up a new dance for years and I dread having to hit the learning curve again. It took me three to four times longer than others to overcome.
And perhaps my embarrassing experience with West Coast Swing made me very reluctant to start learning a totally new dance. I took a workshop consisting of two parts. The first part I could cope. The second part really killed me.
I couldn't absorb anything. Couldn't get the whole sequence of steps and moves into my mind. You know, it's like when you're studying and nothing enters your brain despite you forcing yourself to do everything to learn it. I don't want that to happen again.
Perhaps a slow, controlled entry into Kizomba would work. Perhaps.
-----
Now this, and it is not only salsa, is that quite often I don't feel like talking. If I feel like it and can click, then it's okay, otherwise I'm much more comfortable saying nothing.
Reasons why I do not talk much at times: (This is not necessarily a salsa thing, it can happen in any kind of social gathering or event)
The subject matter is something I don't care about.
The subject matter is something too deep or technical or not familiar to me.
The language used is not what I'm comfortable with. For example some people insist on using deep Mandarin with me when I only know basic stuff. Just because I look Chinese doesn't mean I can speak perfect Mandarin with all those indirect allusions and classical language from Confucius' time.
We just don't click for whatever reason.
The people are not friendly.
I'm mentally drained from a long day or whatever reason and the last thing I want to do is force myself to talk when I just want to sit back and relax.
-----
To Sum It Up
Perhaps I am fed up of the scene after being in it for too long. Perhaps I am rather opinionated on certain matters that affect my satisfaction level. Perhaps I have not been meeting enough of the right people. Of course I have met some nice people, but it's not enough to give me the motivation to continue dancing.
At the end of the day we may have to disagree on certain things. It's okay. I'm not you and you're not me. My motivations may not be the same as yours.
Background Story
In recent weeks I have been having so many thoughts on my participation in the local salsa dance scene. I need to address them and settle what needs to be settled.
I've been finding it hard to feel satisfied after a dancing night out. And this is coming from someone who started salsa-ing way back in 2000, a slow learner who took three to four times longer than others to learn the basics, and used to enjoy it very much especially in the USA. I have been in the local scene since my return in 2003 and yes, I've seen a lot of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I'd say the years from 2005 to 2009 and then from 2010 to 2011 were good overall for me. To summarize, those were the Golden Years. But of course, good times never last, bad times do and will happen.
In fact for a period of time, the year 2012 and most of 2013 specifically, I withdrew myself from the scene due to severe dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Things happened that threw me down to a very low point in my life and I didn't want to be reminded of my failures by seeing those who succeeded where I failed.
Only after my life got better did I come back gradually. But I wasn't the same anymore. I didn't feel the need to dance as many dances as possible. I became picky, choosy, selective about many things - the songs, the persons, the potential connection, things like that. If I got three or four satisfying dances, that fulfilled my satisfaction quota for the night and I would go home unless I felt like hanging around and catching up with acquaintances or friends.
-----
These are the thoughts I've had that bug me (in no particular order):
Why I don't dance often anymore.
Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.
Whether I should take classes or workshops.
Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.
When should I stop dancing altogether.
Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.
Whether I should take up Kizomba.
Why am I not talking much most of the time.
-----
Why I don't dance often anymore. Reasons why I do not dance much at times:
I don't like the music. This is of course a very subjective matter. What I don't like, other people may like, and vice versa. I could say that a particular song is damn boring, repetitive, long-winded, hard to catch and so on, but someone else might say it's damn good.
The gender balance is skewed. Not enough girls, in simple straightforward language.
Not enough people to dance with.
I don't like the person. Again for whatever reason, maybe because we don't have a good connection, or maybe because that person is an asshole or something. But if I'm asked I usually just go through the motions for the sake of social harmony. But I try to avoid if possible.
I'm not feeling well. If this is the case I wouldn't go out unless I want to just meet a friend or some acquaintances.
-----
Whether I should quit dancing Bachata.
At one time I learnt quite a fair bit of nice leadable Bachata moves. But of late, I have been losing interest in Bachata. Maybe there's no connection with my partner? Maybe I forgot how to do some of the moves I learnt? Maybe I feel there's too many Bachata songs being played in a row? Maybe most of the dances I've had aren't satisfying?
I know Bachata is popular, but I somehow can't do it as well as I do Salsa. Perhaps only one dance in three, four, or five is satisfying. Often, none.
Unless I somehow rediscover the satisfaction in dancing Bachata, most probably I'm on my way out.
-----
Whether I should take classes or workshops.
To be honest, I enjoyed the upper beginner and pre-intermediate classes in those days. But after reaching the intermediate level of classes, I just didn't enjoy the class anymore. To be fair they do have some cool routines, but I hated shines and wasn't interested in half the things in class. So I lost motivation and stopped going after a while.
The short simple answer: Most probably not, because I don't enjoy taking class anymore.
-----
Why am I into the salsa dance scene. My motivations and reasons.
I should address the difference between these two general categories of dancers:
Those who want to challenge themselves with difficult stuff, do performance, go competition, take advanced stuff and whatnot, and
Those who just want to learn the basics and a usable, leadable, memorizable repertoire of favourite moves and cool stuff that is not too difficult to acquire, and strictly for the purpose of social dancing.
I belong to the latter group. I hate the stress and pressure of forcing myself to be what I am not. I joined dancing to reduce stress levels and I don't need any extra stress to screw me up.
Otherwise what's the whole damn point of dancing? If it gives me more stress, I might as well do something else instead.
I told myself I will not do performance or competition or anything that is difficult to grasp and gives me hell lot of stress and pressure. That's non-negotiable.
I will only do as much as I can take without getting stressed out.
I will only do what I want to do. I pick and choose.
A lot of those who are really into dancing dance because they love the dance, they want to challenge themselves, to perform, to excel, to express themselves and so on. It's all good and I respect that.
But for me, my goals and motivations are not the same.
I go into dancing purely for the social aspect, human connection, and in the good old days, to reduce stress. To get to know people. That is why solo dancing never attracted me. Then again my definition of reduce stress may be very different from other people.
-----
When should I stop dancing altogether.
If I feel I'm not getting what I want from it, then it's time to get out and do something else.
-----
Whether I should go for any major salsa event or not.
Again, I doubt I can dance to the maximum for three nights in a row. After a few songs I'll just be recycling moves. And perhaps a bad experience I had during SISF 2010 affected my mind regarding the kinds of songs to expect. Please save me from those damn boring repetitive 8-minute long songs!
As I'm a guy, I won't benefit from going to major events compared to the girls. They can dance with all the superstars and shine as a result, but I will run out of moves if I were to dance with the stars. The only good thing I can think of for a guy is having to improvise on the spot and hoping for a good connection.
As for workshops during events, it's very draining to go to all of them, and I am not keen on perhaps half of what's offered. And from other people's experience, they end up unable to retain 50% of what they learnt.
Only plus point for motivation is the chance to meet up with acquaintances and friends I may not have seen for a long time.
-----
Whether I should take up Kizomba.
I like the music. But I don't know how to dance it. What's holding me back is that I have not picked up a new dance for years and I dread having to hit the learning curve again. It took me three to four times longer than others to overcome.
And perhaps my embarrassing experience with West Coast Swing made me very reluctant to start learning a totally new dance. I took a workshop consisting of two parts. The first part I could cope. The second part really killed me.
I couldn't absorb anything. Couldn't get the whole sequence of steps and moves into my mind. You know, it's like when you're studying and nothing enters your brain despite you forcing yourself to do everything to learn it. I don't want that to happen again.
Perhaps a slow, controlled entry into Kizomba would work. Perhaps.
-----
Now this, and it is not only salsa, is that quite often I don't feel like talking. If I feel like it and can click, then it's okay, otherwise I'm much more comfortable saying nothing.
Reasons why I do not talk much at times: (This is not necessarily a salsa thing, it can happen in any kind of social gathering or event)
The subject matter is something I don't care about.
The subject matter is something too deep or technical or not familiar to me.
The language used is not what I'm comfortable with. For example some people insist on using deep Mandarin with me when I only know basic stuff. Just because I look Chinese doesn't mean I can speak perfect Mandarin with all those indirect allusions and classical language from Confucius' time.
We just don't click for whatever reason.
The people are not friendly.
I'm mentally drained from a long day or whatever reason and the last thing I want to do is force myself to talk when I just want to sit back and relax.
-----
To Sum It Up
Perhaps I am fed up of the scene after being in it for too long. Perhaps I am rather opinionated on certain matters that affect my satisfaction level. Perhaps I have not been meeting enough of the right people. Of course I have met some nice people, but it's not enough to give me the motivation to continue dancing.
At the end of the day we may have to disagree on certain things. It's okay. I'm not you and you're not me. My motivations may not be the same as yours.
Finding A Dance Partner
[NOTE: I wrote this on 22 November 2005. Its content still holds much relevance today.]
Two hands are needed to clap. Can you clap with one hand? Catch mosquitoes, maybe can. Unless slapping your fingertips on your palm is considered clapping.
Much has been said about the dynamics and intricacies of finding a dance partner. I can tell you from experience that it's not easy.
First requirement part one: Same/similar dance goals. On my side, I want to dance for social purposes only. Not for competition, not for performance. So if you want to compete, find somebody else. If we have the same dance goals, then we can continue one step further.
First requirement part two: Very important. Must have same free time. Or at least must be willing to make time for each other.
So many people say they want to improve their dancing, to be a good dancer, etc. But when I offer my time to practice with them, they always say no time.
I say, "Either you don't have time or are not willing to make time, it's the same thing. It means you are not going to get to practice with me. Same net effect".
What's the point of starting a partnership if one party is neither able nor willing to make time for practice? Defeats the purpose. Might as well say "I'm not interested".
Therefore it makes sense that both parts of the first requirement must be fulfilled before we can even talk about other requirements. Reasonable, is it not?
Other requirements that follow would depend on the persons involved. Examples:
* Height and physique
* Level
* Status
* Smoking or not
A little on these points:
Some girls require that the guy be taller than themselves. Especially for salsa where the guy spins the girl a lot. Whereas in International Waltz, due to the nature of the dance, the girl can be taller than the guy without much problem.
As for dance level, better for both guy and girl to be at the same level, or the gap is not too wide. So that they can do together the steps they learn in class. Too large a gap, and it becomes more like a teacher-student thingy.
Status means that either partner may or may not be married or attached to a steady boyfriend/girlfriend. Assuming that jealousy is not an issue (and it should not be), the main contention here is priority of spending time. Of course, someone married or attached will have first commitments to family or significant other, with time to dance taking a back seat.
Smoking... For non-smokers, they may find it uncomfortable having to inhale secondhand smoke. And it's not fair to impose on one's partner, so better off getting someone who's a non-smoker if one can't stand smoke. (Myself included, I'd run away from smoky places asap).
After all has been said, I consider myself fortunate to have a dance partner for the past two months. Though we aren't going for competition, we make sure we have time for each other. We practice whatever we learn in class so that we will remember for a long time to come. Glad and appreciative is what I feel now. :)
Two hands are needed to clap. Can you clap with one hand? Catch mosquitoes, maybe can. Unless slapping your fingertips on your palm is considered clapping.
Much has been said about the dynamics and intricacies of finding a dance partner. I can tell you from experience that it's not easy.
First requirement part one: Same/similar dance goals. On my side, I want to dance for social purposes only. Not for competition, not for performance. So if you want to compete, find somebody else. If we have the same dance goals, then we can continue one step further.
First requirement part two: Very important. Must have same free time. Or at least must be willing to make time for each other.
So many people say they want to improve their dancing, to be a good dancer, etc. But when I offer my time to practice with them, they always say no time.
I say, "Either you don't have time or are not willing to make time, it's the same thing. It means you are not going to get to practice with me. Same net effect".
What's the point of starting a partnership if one party is neither able nor willing to make time for practice? Defeats the purpose. Might as well say "I'm not interested".
Therefore it makes sense that both parts of the first requirement must be fulfilled before we can even talk about other requirements. Reasonable, is it not?
Other requirements that follow would depend on the persons involved. Examples:
* Height and physique
* Level
* Status
* Smoking or not
A little on these points:
Some girls require that the guy be taller than themselves. Especially for salsa where the guy spins the girl a lot. Whereas in International Waltz, due to the nature of the dance, the girl can be taller than the guy without much problem.
As for dance level, better for both guy and girl to be at the same level, or the gap is not too wide. So that they can do together the steps they learn in class. Too large a gap, and it becomes more like a teacher-student thingy.
Status means that either partner may or may not be married or attached to a steady boyfriend/girlfriend. Assuming that jealousy is not an issue (and it should not be), the main contention here is priority of spending time. Of course, someone married or attached will have first commitments to family or significant other, with time to dance taking a back seat.
Smoking... For non-smokers, they may find it uncomfortable having to inhale secondhand smoke. And it's not fair to impose on one's partner, so better off getting someone who's a non-smoker if one can't stand smoke. (Myself included, I'd run away from smoky places asap).
After all has been said, I consider myself fortunate to have a dance partner for the past two months. Though we aren't going for competition, we make sure we have time for each other. We practice whatever we learn in class so that we will remember for a long time to come. Glad and appreciative is what I feel now. :)
Thursday, August 15, 2013
So-called religious person can be plain nasty and treacherous
(Written on July 15, 2013)
No matter what religion a person says he follows, if he's a nasty/treacherous/bad person, he's still a nasty/treacherous/bad person. Doesn't mean that a so-called religious nasty/treacherous/bad person is better than a plain nasty/treacherous/bad person. 無論佢講佢信乜教，奸人始終都係奸人。 Mou leun keui gong keui seun mat gaau, gaan yan chi jung dou hai gaan yan.
No matter what religion a person says he follows, if he's a nasty/treacherous/bad person, he's still a nasty/treacherous/bad person. Doesn't mean that a so-called religious nasty/treacherous/bad person is better than a plain nasty/treacherous/bad person. 無論佢講佢信乜教，奸人始終都係奸人。 Mou leun keui gong keui seun mat gaau, gaan yan chi jung dou hai gaan yan.
The day I stop caring, it means...
(Written on June 26, 2013)
The day I stop caring, it means...
講得啱，人哋係大人唔係細佬哥，佢做乜嘢都係自己擔當，我做得最多都係到此為止。 Well said, SbM.
The day I stop caring, it means...
講得啱，人哋係大人唔係細佬哥，佢做乜嘢都係自己擔當，我做得最多都係到此為止。 Well said, SbM.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
You don't understand because you didn't listen (Tak faham kerana tak dengar)
(Written on June 20, 2013)
A lot of people don't bother to listen. That's why they can't learn. Dahlah sendiri tak faham, lagi mau lagak pandai. Masa I jelaskan, dia tak peduli. Entah apa dia buat waktu kelas. Patutlah tak tau. Tetiba pulak tuduh I tak ajar, padahal sendiri tak buat ulangkaji apa yang telah diajar. Ataupun dia sendiri tak hadir masa I ajar. Sila lihat cermin sebelum menuding jari.
A lot of people don't bother to listen. That's why they can't learn. Dahlah sendiri tak faham, lagi mau lagak pandai. Masa I jelaskan, dia tak peduli. Entah apa dia buat waktu kelas. Patutlah tak tau. Tetiba pulak tuduh I tak ajar, padahal sendiri tak buat ulangkaji apa yang telah diajar. Ataupun dia sendiri tak hadir masa I ajar. Sila lihat cermin sebelum menuding jari.
Memorizing versus Understanding
(Written on June 20, 2013)
Some are good at memorizing sentences. Unfortunately they memorized blindly without understanding. So when I ask a question, they answer using a well-rehearsed sentence, not knowing that they are not answering my question at all. Knowing words isn't enough. You need to know how to make your own sentences according to the situation.
Some are good at memorizing sentences. Unfortunately they memorized blindly without understanding. So when I ask a question, they answer using a well-rehearsed sentence, not knowing that they are not answering my question at all. Knowing words isn't enough. You need to know how to make your own sentences according to the situation.
Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran
(Written on June 5, 2013)
Malay proverb: "Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran." It means you can't get what you are pursuing, meanwhile you lose what you have. Sad to see this happen due to one's rashness.
Malay proverb: "Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran." It means you can't get what you are pursuing, meanwhile you lose what you have. Sad to see this happen due to one's rashness.
When You Say Nothing At All (Ronan Keating version) for learning English pronunciation
(Written on May 31, 2013)
A very soothing song, good for those learning English. Clear and proper pronunciation, meaningful lyrics, simple sentences, modal verbs, and predominant use of the present tense.
"When You Say Nothing At All"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuJrEBtmM1Q
A very soothing song, good for those learning English. Clear and proper pronunciation, meaningful lyrics, simple sentences, modal verbs, and predominant use of the present tense.
"When You Say Nothing At All"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuJrEBtmM1Q
If you want to improve your language speaking skills, you must speak!
(Written on May 25, 2013)
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to improve your command of the language, you must speak it! Otherwise what's the point of learning? You can study as much as you want, but unless you use the language with others, what you learn will be "here today, gone tomorrow".
So you really want to improve? Start speaking now! Don't give yourself excuses such as "I'm not good enough," "I'm not sure about the sentence structure," "I don't know many words," "I need to study more first," etc.
I say, "Don't wait till you're fluent! Don't wait till you've memorized all the grammar rules you worry about! Just use whatever little you know. Otherwise you'll never start speaking. You can't escape making mistakes but they won't kill you!" Mistakes are inevitable. There's no shortcut.
If you don't speak, you'll never improve your speaking skills. Fine if you just want to read only, but why limit yourself?
And for those who are taking oral exams, please don't give one or two-word answers. Try to elaborate when you answer. How can the examiner give you high marks if you don't say much?
Do I need to translate all of the above into whatever language?
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you want to improve your command of the language, you must speak it! Otherwise what's the point of learning? You can study as much as you want, but unless you use the language with others, what you learn will be "here today, gone tomorrow".
So you really want to improve? Start speaking now! Don't give yourself excuses such as "I'm not good enough," "I'm not sure about the sentence structure," "I don't know many words," "I need to study more first," etc.
I say, "Don't wait till you're fluent! Don't wait till you've memorized all the grammar rules you worry about! Just use whatever little you know. Otherwise you'll never start speaking. You can't escape making mistakes but they won't kill you!" Mistakes are inevitable. There's no shortcut.
If you don't speak, you'll never improve your speaking skills. Fine if you just want to read only, but why limit yourself?
And for those who are taking oral exams, please don't give one or two-word answers. Try to elaborate when you answer. How can the examiner give you high marks if you don't say much?
Do I need to translate all of the above into whatever language?
Healing Takes Time
(Written on March 30, 2013)
Healing takes time. It could be days, weeks, months or years. Most important is that it's complete. There will be setbacks, there will be flashbacks. In the darkest moments emerges the temptation to end it all. The key to survive this stage is to seek help from a reliable source. 好返需要時間。要幾耐就唔定嘅：唔知幾多日，禮拜，月，年。最緊要係好返曬。行呢條路一定有阻礙，有閃回。喺最慘嗰陣時會覺得好想離開呢個世界。要克服呢個困難，搵到信得過嘅人好重要。
Healing takes time. It could be days, weeks, months or years. Most important is that it's complete. There will be setbacks, there will be flashbacks. In the darkest moments emerges the temptation to end it all. The key to survive this stage is to seek help from a reliable source. 好返需要時間。要幾耐就唔定嘅：唔知幾多日，禮拜，月，年。最緊要係好返曬。行呢條路一定有阻礙，有閃回。喺最慘嗰陣時會覺得好想離開呢個世界。要克服呢個困難，搵到信得過嘅人好重要。
Monday, December 31, 2012
Last Post for 2012
What I wrote around 9 pm today:
"In three hours or so it'll be 2013. I can't say that 2012 has been a good year for me, but I'm not dead yet, and as long as my faculties are intact there's still hope no matter how slim. In a couple of hours I shall leave the comfort of home to do something productive, meaningful, and helpful; when I return next year, I shall have the feeling of contentment and satisfaction that I made a positive difference no matter how small. I'm glad that despite the nonsense that hit me from all directions, key parts of me still function. Bye bye 2012 and welcome 2013. Vaalga!"
I do have more to write, but I'll leave that for another time when I can sit down and slowly type out my thoughts.
"In three hours or so it'll be 2013. I can't say that 2012 has been a good year for me, but I'm not dead yet, and as long as my faculties are intact there's still hope no matter how slim. In a couple of hours I shall leave the comfort of home to do something productive, meaningful, and helpful; when I return next year, I shall have the feeling of contentment and satisfaction that I made a positive difference no matter how small. I'm glad that despite the nonsense that hit me from all directions, key parts of me still function. Bye bye 2012 and welcome 2013. Vaalga!"
I do have more to write, but I'll leave that for another time when I can sit down and slowly type out my thoughts.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Passed the PADI Open Water Diver course
Yes! We made it! KF & I passed the PADI Open Water Diver course at B&J Dive Centre, ABC Beach Pulau Tioman over the Hari Raya weekend. We're happy with the achievement after all the hard work and effort put in. Moreover, the revision session with Mr Jerung at TUDM Pool helped a lot to get us familiarized with the needed steps.
Feeling glad to have achieved the mission objectives despite being forced to schedule matters at the worst of times. Even though there were some hiccups here and there, but nothing unsolvable with some little adjustments.
Also grateful and appreciative that important things went on smoothly and the worst case scenarios didn't happen. Not forgetting to be thankful for good guidance and feedback on areas to improve.
I'm also glad to know the answers to some outstanding questions despite some of it being unpleasant to the ear. At least I got some potentially useful suggestions and tips to improve on. For that, I appreciate. Thank you. You know who you are.
Feeling glad to have achieved the mission objectives despite being forced to schedule matters at the worst of times. Even though there were some hiccups here and there, but nothing unsolvable with some little adjustments.
Also grateful and appreciative that important things went on smoothly and the worst case scenarios didn't happen. Not forgetting to be thankful for good guidance and feedback on areas to improve.
I'm also glad to know the answers to some outstanding questions despite some of it being unpleasant to the ear. At least I got some potentially useful suggestions and tips to improve on. For that, I appreciate. Thank you. You know who you are.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Down, down, down
At times it seems that one's life is a failure and everything is down, down, down. Feelings of depression set in and cause the downward spiral to become worse and worse. Triggered by a major setback or a series of unfortunate events, the overall effect can be debilitating.
Being down can manifest as a see-saw effect. Okay some days, depressed some days. It's a sick feeling to look into the future only to find no end in sight. Even if one is on the road to recovery, it's not a straight line going up. It's like a stock market graph going up and down. Relapses and flashbacks of down feelings happen if triggered.
What can cause it? The loss of a loved one or loved ones through death, divorce, accident, illness or any cruel factor. Failure in relationships, career growth, financial and material accumulation, or inability to achieve success in any way defined. Feeling less successful in life compared to one's family members, friends, peers, seniors and juniors. Stressed out by toxic environment and poisonous people. Receiving a major shock from bad news.
Left unchecked, these feelings of uselessness and negativity can drive a person towards suicide. Yes, the intention to end it all can manifest because one feels like a burden to society, family, and people. That's why it's very important to have at least one trusted person to talk to if one reaches this stage in life.
If you feel down and want to end your life because you can't see a way out, please pause for a while. Ask for help from someone you can trust. Seek help when you need it. Find someone you can talk to in confidence.
Being down can manifest as a see-saw effect. Okay some days, depressed some days. It's a sick feeling to look into the future only to find no end in sight. Even if one is on the road to recovery, it's not a straight line going up. It's like a stock market graph going up and down. Relapses and flashbacks of down feelings happen if triggered.
What can cause it? The loss of a loved one or loved ones through death, divorce, accident, illness or any cruel factor. Failure in relationships, career growth, financial and material accumulation, or inability to achieve success in any way defined. Feeling less successful in life compared to one's family members, friends, peers, seniors and juniors. Stressed out by toxic environment and poisonous people. Receiving a major shock from bad news.
Left unchecked, these feelings of uselessness and negativity can drive a person towards suicide. Yes, the intention to end it all can manifest because one feels like a burden to society, family, and people. That's why it's very important to have at least one trusted person to talk to if one reaches this stage in life.
If you feel down and want to end your life because you can't see a way out, please pause for a while. Ask for help from someone you can trust. Seek help when you need it. Find someone you can talk to in confidence.
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